BERLIN: The Chancellor of Germany, and their government, are furious over the NSA’s decision to declassify private pictures of Angela Merkel.
“This is an outrage! Vye vould they do such a zing?” Said the Chancellor.
The German leader appears to be puckering up in the picture itself, while hot air blows under her white dress.
The NSA tapped the German leader’s phone over several years, and a low-level subordinate released a picture to the press earlier today. It reveals Ms. Merkel’s obsession with Marilyn Monroe.
“This was photo shopped. No one that ugly would attempt such a thing.” Cried an anchor on the television program, Deutschland Today.
The director of the NSA countered that the picture was accurate. “The photograph is not a fake. Angela Merkel likes to impersonate famous actresses. If my wife was that ugly, I’d encourage her to do the same.” Said Keith Alexander, Director of the NSA.
Germans across the country are disgusted at the U.S. government, and even more so for having to look at the picture repeatedly on TV and in print. “The first time I saw it, I threw up in my mouth. Damn you America!” Said Henrick Von Trapp.