Florida’s Solution to Abundant Vacant Foreclosed Homes: Build More!

By Donald Thump

MIAMI, FL: As the foreclosure mess continues unabated for the fourth year in a row, Florida legislatures have agreed to extend building permits to four new condominium projects in South Beach, Florida.

The solution is to assist in driving up the available number of homes available to future retirees, which Florida is banking on will snatch up in droves. With an 18% rate of foreclosures in the Miami area, politicians patted themselves on the back for agreeing to jack up available units.

“It’s an exciting day, ya’ll, so tell your grannies to shuffle on down hea to good ole’ Miami!” Said Miami Mayor Jay Aloof. “We’s confident these homes will perk up our real estate business.”

When asked how a larger number of available units would impact current low home values, he replied, “Wells I guess we all best be thinking of the future! Yee ha!”

Real estate agent, Bernie Yackoff, provided a sober assessment. “What’s that? More condo units available? Are you freaking kidding me? Check out Realtor.com, there are over four thousand condos available right now! Who’s the schmuck who agreed to adding more units?”

When he was told it was his state senator, Bernie replied. “Douche.”

An expected one thousand additional condos will be made available, which is estimated to negatively affect home values in Miami. The Realtor’s Guild of America, which provides scorecards from market to market, noted where things are headed: to the ‘Epic Fall’ level.


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