Hunstman Hires B-List Actor, Ray Wise, to Complete his Campaign

John Hunstman will forgo making an appearance in South Carolina, based on his decision to hire Ray Wise, the actor, to complete his campaign run.

Campaign officials highlighted the striking similarity between the two men, and how the campaign overall would improve without John Huntsman’s personal involvement. “We noticed after the first debate how ill-prepared John was for a national campaign cycle. Now we will have someone in place who can act their way to the presidency.” Said Ari Goldman, Campaign Director.

“I’m really excited to hand over the reigns to Ray Wise, he’s a terrific actor, very presidential,” said former governor Huntsman. “Assuming we win the next 49 states, I’ll reassume the campaign.”

Political experts across the country cited how Huntsman’s odds have increased ten fold in the past twenty four hours. “Huntsman? The only thing he could have done was find someone who can act like a president. And I’ll be damned, he found the perfect dude for the job.”

Polls across South Carolina jumped on the news, and local conservative voters acknowledged their new-found interest in Huntsman. “Huntsman? He be a hunter I assume, and he’s that actor right?” said Jimmy Bob Thorton, a Orcakobee county native. “I’s seen him on TV… like him, yepp, gonna vote for him instead of the Moron, I mean, Mormon.”

Officials in the Gingrich camp spoke to reporters about the event. “Look…. Newt is pissed enough, the fact that he’s going lose now to a surrogate actor politician, I’m frankly scared.” Said the new Gingrich For President campaign manager, Karl Rove.

Huntsman was reportedly back in Utah with his family, watching CNN and cheering on the actor during a local press event. “Look at him! He’s so inspirational,” the nominee said during a phone interview. “Golly I think he’s a winner.”


One thought on “Hunstman Hires B-List Actor, Ray Wise, to Complete his Campaign

  1. Pingback: Disappointed in Candidates, GOP Elders Will Resurrect Reagan «

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