U.S. State Department Approves Wife-Leasing Program to China

NEW YORK- The U.S. State Department approved a controversial agreement with Beijing officials today, allowing American married women to be leased for 3 years to Chinese bachelors.

Hillary Clinton addressed a U.N. forum today addressing the issue, which was positioned as a solution to domestic, economic and humanitarian issues between the United States and China.

“There are thirty million more men than women under the age of forty in China. This is a low-grade humanitarian crisis, one where America can provide an immediate solution.”

China’s U.N. ambassador, Som Yum Guy, praised the solution. “This provides our men with access to a market – the market of companionship. Our men need good women.”

The plan calls for a three-year lease program of American wives, where American women, or their husbands, volunteer their services for a three-year period to Chinese men. Women will be assigned to bachelor men who can provide shelter, food and a reasonable level of quality of life during this time frame.

Lines of men were reported outside the American Embassy in Beijing after the announcement was made. Some were holding signs that read, “We ready for good wife!”
American families, mostly the husbands of those who lease their wives out, will receive $30,000 Yuan during the three-year period. Secretary Clinton noted this represents an economic benefit to both countries.

“The U.S. economy is on shaky ground, this will provide a needed boost and increase spending power. Plus, American men will have the opportunity to reclaim their identity, which in many cases has been hallowed out by years of nagging.”

Global opinion is mixed, and certain groups have expressed grave concerns. The National League of Women’s president warned all parties that the plan is doomed to fail. “These Chinese men have no idea what they are getting themselves into. Three years? They won’t last three weeks. American women are too liberated, they won’t put up with some macho Han bullshit.”

A pilot program took place over the summer, where Claudia Johnson was shipped and leased to a farmer in Quang-Chi, thirty miles outside Beijing. The Associated Press interviewed both persons involved with the program

“I like having wife, even though she never feel clean, and she never pull plow in field.” Said the farmer.

“What a dump. I watch trash float by in the river everyday. There’s no cable. I live in a mud hut with a dirt floor. What a freaking joke, and I’ve got two and a half years to go!” Said Ms. Johnson.
Neighbors cited that the farmer’s house has never been cleaner, and the new window dressings make the red clay interior walls, ‘pop.’

The Associated Press was unable to interview Claudia Johnson’s husband, Brad, who was reported to be taking a career sabbatical and vacationing in the Maldives.

Photo Credit: Super Stock


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