The publisher of the most popular games on the web, Zynga, has a new challenge for heavy gamers, titled, ‘Get A Life.’ Rather than their traditional product, that often involves farm animals and jungle chases, the company has unveiled a totally unique experience.
“This is the first time that many of our heavy gamers will have an opportunity to experience something real, and it’s centered on human interaction and regular life experiences,” said Zynga’s Vice President, Sophia Challange’. “Rather than burrowing into their parents’ basements and hoarding off their food and income, this game will encourage our gamers to exist in the real world.”
The game appears is quite basic, yet for heavy gamers, it will remain a challenge nonetheless. It comes with directions on how to produce a resume, instructions on making pasta, software for scheduling appointments and meetings, and it comes complete with reminder alerts. “This will encourage our consumers to cognitively engage with their community, maybe even find a job.”
Obstacles that exist within the game, Get A Life, include finding employment, acquainting themselves with the opposite sex and a challenging obstacle called, ‘The Facebook Test.’ “That’s when the user has to refrain from updating their meager collection of Facebook friends with meaningless updates for twenty four hours. That one scores one thousand points, it’s a biggie.”
Other points can be scored by doing laundry, calling relatives to check in every few months rather than years, and making payments to creditors who have gone unpaid for months at a time.
John S. Lacker, a self reported heavy gamer, was interviewed about the new game. “I’m like, well… where do I start? How does the game score my human interactions?” Appearing rather disheveled and perplexed, he also expressed resentment. “Are they telling me I am playing games too often? Don’t they want my business?”
Vice President Challange’ responded to the concerns. “Our philosophy is that this game will broaden one’s perspective. And yes, we will monitor social interactions. Since we scoop our gamers’ personal data from Facebook, we can pretty much track every move they make.”
When asked what happens if a consumers loses, Get A Life, Sophia responded, “That will dovetail nicely into our next launch three months from now, which is called, Therapy Farm.