Disease Affects Models – a Combination of Amnesia and Anorexia, Verbal Miscues Abound
NEW YORK: Gisele’s comments the day after the Patriots lost the Super Bowl reflect what Doctors call Anorexsia, a combination of anorexia, and amnesia. Common among attractive models who trim back carbohydrates, the lack of starch in one’s diet alters brain functionality, according to doctors.
A video surfaced in social media outlets highlighting Gisele’s reaction to Giant fans who were taunting her, where she replied with an explicative and lauded Patriot’s receivers. What was not reported was how she blushed, excused herself, and asked for a box of saltines to alleviate the incident of Anorexsia.
“This disease is common among A-List size one models,” said Joan Rivers. “They also tend to blame me when I’m around because I eat every carbohydrates in sight. Protein stretches out my plastic surgery and it’s a bitch.”
Gisele was interviewed hours after the incident occurred. “I’m terribly sorry for what I said. I was malnourished, I have a shoot in Italy on Wednesday and I was in carbo-comatose,” she said while blushing. “I don’t know half the shit I say when I’m loading up on protein…. Oops! I did it again!”
Doctors have criticized the celebrity community for allowing this disease to affect a wide swath of skinny models. “This disease is affecting models in a way where they lose the ability to filter anything they say, and they lie.” Said Sanjay Gupta of CNN. “One model said I reminded her of an Indian James Bond. I mean come on already, James Bond? Get over yourself, eat a bowl of pasta and deal with your Anorexsia.”
Wes Welker, one of the Patriots receivers, noted Gisele’s penchant for making rude comments. “She called me short, told Rob Gronkowski he was a pollock with big hands and told Tom to ditch the Justin Bieber hair style.” When asked how each man reacted, he said, “Tom lead the league in touchdowns as a tight end, I ran further than any other Patriots receiver, and Tom cut his hair. Go figure.”
Doctors recommend a diet that included one carbohydrate serving, some valium and if they continue to model, a common solution to managing one’s weight. “It’s called exercise,” said Chevy Chase, who played the role of a doctor in Spies Like Us. “Sex burns a lot of calories too, there’s a stair climber in my bedroom, unplugged, Gisele is welcome to come over and burn calories anytime she wants to.”
Gisele, you sexy bitch, you’ve been Goosed.