Jeremy Lin Infuriates Tall, Gawky White NBA Players

NEW YORK: Jeremy Lin, now the top-scoring player in the NBA, has ruffled the feathers of another group in the league: Tall white players.

Dirk Nowitzki summed up the frustration and fears of white players in the NBA. “We don’t know what the $**&% to do, he passes the ball to players that are open, he drops three points from afar. Pretty soon we’re going to be outsourced to crappy European teams.”

Mr. Nowitzki’s agent confirmed that the player has recently been offered contracts to play in both Dutch and Portuguese leagues. “I don’t think my client is interested in playing in Europe, but if this keeps up, that may be his only option.”

Jeremy Lin’s Knicks defeated the Mavericks after coming back in the fourth quarter in Madison Square Garden today. Jeremy Lin accounted for 28 points and 14 assists, a critical element in the Knicks victory.

“When Lin came on the court, I was like, Linsanity, Shmanity, we’ll crush these guys. I was pretty much humbled when he dropped a couple of three pointers in the fourth. I’m sending my scouts to China next week,” said Mark Cuban, owner of the Mavericks.

Asian American communities around the country, and Asian countries themselves, are enjoying the smack down the six-foot-three Jeremy Lin is giving to white people throughout the league. “They’ve had it coming for a long time,” said Yao Ming, “tell em’ it’s time to go back to the sports white people were destined to dominate. Tennis, bowling and curling.”

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