Limbaugh and Santorum Meet at Hooters, Agree Women Are “Property”


DAYTON, OHIO: Rush Limbaugh and Rick Santorum met yesterday to discuss the recent media frenzy surrounding their statements about women. The right to birth control, Sandra Fluke’s statements and the GOP’s chances to beat Obama were also discussed.

“We had a deep and thorough discussion about these issues,” said Rush, “and meeting at Hooters gave us a fresh perspective on the opposite sex. A fantastic perspective, if you know what I’m saying.”

The men agreed that the positions they’ve taken in the recent past, as they relate to birth control, directly relate to the founding fathers of the United States. As they’ve often espoused in the media, the constitution and modern-day society should be centered on worldly views established by men like Jefferson and Washington.

Rick Santorum made the following statement after his Hooters waitress served him a plate of chicken wings. “There’s no question in my mind about how one should view the world. Our founding fathers had it right form the beginning, and to that point, it’s a man’s responsibility to make decisions for his woman. All decisions.”

The two men shared toasts and concluded that like the days back in 1783, women are today technically the ‘property of men.’ They agreed to reformulate their message to the public.

“I agree to apologize to Sandra Fluke. There, I said it. Can we move on? Good, because I’ve got some bills I want to support in congress that will eliminate a woman’s right to do anything with her body without her husband’s consent,” said Rush Limbaugh.

“I second that notion. And when I get grief for using our freedom of religion as an excuse to deny insurance coverage for birth control, I’ll simply refer to our founding fathers,” Rick Santorum responded.

“Here here! Now let’s get some of those spicy buffalo wings buddy!”

“Can I tell you something Rush? You complete me, I love you.”

“We’re going to make beautiful music together during this campaign. I love you too Rick.”

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