Rush Limbaugh Signs New Advertisers To Show

DAYTON, OHIO: As advertisers like Allstate pull ads from The Rush Limbaugh Show, others are signing up to take their place.

Hearos Ear Plugs agreed to a three-month contract where Rush Limbaugh will tout the benefits their product. “I look forward to touting these fantastic ear plugs on my show. They are fantastic for blocking out noise pollution,” said Rush Limbaugh during a telephone interview.

The company’s marketing manager provided some perspective on the move. “There’s clearly a need among Rush Limbaugh’s audience to stifle one’s ability to listen to what he has to say. Half his demo are women and now they want nothing to do with him. I’m sure our product will serve their needs.”

Another unusual sponsor signed up recently: BioSante, the company that intends to produce and distribute male contraception pills. Rush was enthusiastic about the announcement. “What a joyous time in history! Now men can control if and when they want to procreate.”

BioSante’s spokesperson, Ron Jeremy, commented on the agreement. “This serves two purposes. First, we hope the message personally gets through to Rush that birth control is not a bad thing with 8 million people on the planet. Secondly, if we can prevent Rush Limbaugh listeners from breeding, all the better.”

The final sponsor is one that is turning heads in the publishing world. Prometheus Books, the international bookseller, has signed a two-year deal with The Rush Limbaugh show.

“Their list of authors is exceptional, I will be proud to tout any one of the books they publish.”

Patty Nalosi is the president of Prometheus and she happens to be an active member of the National Organization for Women. “We have one… and only one author we wish Rush to promote. That’s Dr. Kevorkian and his book, The Goodness of Planned Death. We think anyone listening to the show, and the host himself, would benefit greatly from the advice provided in this wonderful read.”

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One thought on “Rush Limbaugh Signs New Advertisers To Show

  1. Very, Very, Funny!!!!

    My kind of humor! Or is it snark? 🙂

    Right off hand I can think of at least 5 places and people that will “enjoy” this article.

    Gave me a well needed laugh as we have a very sick cat that probably will not be with us for to many more days. (kidney failure) He is 19yrs. old. I may post something later.

    Thank You.

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