Primary Results Prompt Nick Name For Mitt: ‘Nacho Romney’


BOSTON, MA: Conservatives across the political spectrum continue to be amazed at the length and discourse taking place in the Republican primary contest. Given the uncertainty associate with Mitt Romney’s victories, many pundits have started associating any victory as a surprise. What should be a normal and triumphant message within conservative circles has turned into something else.

It has prompted the nickname, “Nacho Romney,” for a candidate who continues to be amazed at clutching victory from what should be easy political contests.

“We’re shocked whenever he wins a state, to put it simply,” said John Boehner, the Speaker of The House.

Commentators on news outlets have espoused a, ‘wait and see’ attitude in contests that in normal years would be considered easy wins. “We believe in our hearts that Santorum still has a shot at winning the nomination,” said Wolf Blitzkrieg of CNN. When asked if his network was propagating the contest to enhance CNN’s ratings, he replied, “That’s our objective as a news organization, otherwise we wouldn’t give a rat’s ass about those three other nut jobs.”

Reince Priebus, Chairman of the Republican National Committee, provided some perspective. “Mitt takes Vermont, then loses Tennessee. He takes Alaska, but only beats Santorum in Ohio by a few thousand votes. But he outspends all of them ten to one? He’s the Nacho Libre of the conservative movement.”

When asked how he would react if Mitt Romney won the nomination, he said, “I’d guess I’d yell, long live Nacho Romney. Jesus, can someone please convince Chris Christie to get in the race?”

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