Tim Tebow Moving To Jets, God Reintroduces Himself to New Yorkers

FLORHAM PARK, NY: Jets fans across the region, including their head coach, were moved by god to take to bended knee at the announcement of Tim Tebow’s trade to the team.

“I was moved, from a force more powerful than my own appetite,” said Rex Ryan, the head coach for the Jets. “Something instinctively pushed me down to one knee before I knew the deal was signed. It was God… and he wants the Jets to win the Super Bowl.”

In a gesture that is synonymous with the quarterback, hundreds of thousands of New Yorkers knelt in prayer shortly after the announcement was made. “Our prayers have been answered. God sent Tebow to the Jets to win da big game,” said local Jets fan, Tony Sequilla of Long Island City.

Press officials have a name for the incident, where hundreds of thousands of Jets fans took to bended knee yesterday. In the spirit of a town providing a reception to a new athlete, reporters have started referring to the event as the ‘Immaculate Reception.’

“It’s more like an immaculate projection… his projection into the New York media market. Give it a week, they’ll find a reason to hate him,” said Mike Lupica of the New York Daily News.

“I wouldn’t call it immaculate, but it shows just how bad Jets fans want to win,” said the newly crowned Catholic Cardinal, Timothy Dolan. “Then again, if the Jets win the Super Bowl, I will assume that Tim Tebow is in fact the second coming of Christ.”

Photo credit: Associated Press


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