LOS ANGELES: Paul Ryan’s campaign managers are working with the producers of Breaking Bad to show a different side of the Vice Presidential candidate.
“We decided, based on the polls, to have Ryan appeal to younger voters. Badass voters, the truly undecided as they don’t know who would be the toughest candidate. An association with Breaking Bad should do the trick,” said the new campaign manager, Peggy Hooligan.
The candidate noted how he was completely out of his element. “I was like, golly gee, this is messy, the whole meth business? Dear god, it’s so dangerous!”
During the seven day offsite, Paul Ryan helped produce eighty pounds of blue ice meth, the patented version Walter White manufacturers. Mr. Ryan shot at three gangsters (but missed), was chased repeatedly and learned how to fire sawed-off shotguns.
The candidate, familiar with alcohol, was unaccustomed to the highs associated with meth production. “I made an erroneous error on the second day, I didn’t turn on the air vents. We walked out of the room completely wasted. My bad.”
The producers of the show had some fun with the candidate when they arranged for the President to visit the site. Rather than a joke, he intimidated Walter White and Paul Ryan by playing the role of Gus, the drug kingpin.
“My opponent thought he’d try to appeal to new voters, I thought I’d show him who the boss was. I think he got the picture after I… well never mind,” said President Obama.
Mr. Paul Ryan returned to Wisconsin a very terrified man who will stick to working on congressional budgets and supporting a Presidential candidate who aspires to represent 53% of the country.