China Launches Aircraft Carrier, Lacks Planes That Can Land On It

BEIJING:  Chinese officials applauded their country’s progress on the high seas today as they launched the nation’s first aircraft carrier.

“We are very proud of this achievement, and take pride in our naval advancements,” Said Wu Tang Clan, the Imperial Naval Ambassador.

Skeptics, however, noted one missing element that many say is a useful element to have in tandem with vessels that can land planes.  “They have no planes capable of actually landing on the aircraft carrier,” said Louis Armstrong, a U.S. Naval Strategist, “Kind of bitch, ain’t it?”

According to the New York Times, no planes in the current Chinese air force, have the physical capability to land on carriers.  Pilots in training are landing on strips of elevated concretes until the problem can be fixed.

“We, ah.. we are going to have two aircraft carriers within five years, so we will be able to dominate the South China Sea!  You will see for yourself!” responded Wu Tang Clan.  When asked about the estimated time it would take to have a full compliment of planes that could be of use with such a vessel, he responded, “We have alternative solutions in the interim.”

The Goose investigated the matter further and discovered documents that revealed the interim Chinese solution.

The top secret photo reveals that Cranes will be trained to be used as drones, and will carry incendiary bombs to defend their homeland.

Wu Tang Clan declined to comment on the project.


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