Angry Middle-Aged White Men Furious With Romney Seek Counseling

SEATTLE:  The core group that supports Mitt Romney in the coming election, angry middle-aged white men, are in an uproar.  Many are seeking refuge through therapy and psychological counseling.

According to Dr. Phil, hundreds of thousands of men have sought professional advice to deal with their frustrations.  “I’ve heard from thousands of therapists across the country, and quite frankly, the old white guys are about to blow a gasket.”

“I cannot believe we nominated this douche.  He suspiciously withholds tax returns, then comes out to report he paid 14%,” said local Seattle voter, Mr. Ire Esse.  “Then that liberal spy video comes out, with Romney’s victim speech.  He gets spray tanned for that Hispanic event?  What’s next, is he going to sing mammy to the NAACP?  God help us.”

When reporters asked Mr. Esse about how his middle-aged wife would vote, he responded.  “My wife’s vagina decided for her, voting for Republican was not in her best interest.”

Sanja Gupta of CNN, a man of ethnic background, summed up why white people feel this way.  “It’s Reaganism, or lack thereof.  They were in love with the man.  Now they don’t have an elder white hero to look up to.”

Therapists have been working on solutions to deal with the tide of angry white men who are plopping on their couches.  “We tell them, it’s an election, it’s not the end of the world.  We think there’s something else going on, and it has to deal with sex, like everything else, according to Freud.”

When asked what the solution was, one female therapist who asked not to be identified responded, “I think Romney, Gingrich and especially Santorum, they brought on a case of national blue balls.  Republican men can kiss George Bush goodbye… and bush in general… unless they wake up and realize a responsible President like Obama may actually result in these guys getting some nookie again.”

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One thought on “Angry Middle-Aged White Men Furious With Romney Seek Counseling

  1. Pingback: Spreading Capitalism | writinginthewild.com

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