ESPN Outdoors Appeals To Disgruntled Husbands: The Home Designer Hunt

GREAT FALLS, MONTANA:  The producer of shows like Bass Master and the Deer Hunter have a new show in development to appeal to disgruntled husbands.  It will feature a home designer from channels like HGTV who have to survive out in the wilderness before a group of professional hunters track them down.

“We believe this will expand our audience.  We already reach the outdoor sportman, but what about the suburban father who gets berated with home decorating projects every time they walk in the door?”  said the show’s producer, Sherwood Schwartz.  “Everyone knows it’s show’s like Kitchen Cousins and Curb Appeal that spark all these house projects, now it’s payback time.”

“When I come home work, my wife’s got thirty things for me to do around the house,”  said Jack Gerald, a local Los Angeles married man.  “The DVR is jammed with these shows, I know where my wife get’s all these ideas.”

ESPN producers will invite designers to rustic film locations on the basis of their need to redesign a million dollar cabin in the woods.  Designer stars like Candice Olson and David Brimstad, who appear regularly on HGTV, will be greeted by the professional hunters.  Shortly thereafter, the designer will be given rations, survival gear and a one day’s head start. 

“They’ve got a fair shot.  Twenty four hours is a lot of time to find a good hiding place in ten square miles,” said professional hunter and former Green Beret, Jack Rambo.  “In the end, they’ll get what they have coming to them.  It’s kind of like the Hunger Games for husbands.  Men get ambushed with home chores, let’s see how designers react to getting ambushed themselves.”

Hunters have been instructed not to shoot at the designers nor injure them in anyway.  “We’ll have camera crews on hand when designers beg for mercy.  God knows there are millions of men who feel the same way at the end of a weekend of home projects.”

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