Republican Men Reassure Women, Have Vagina’s Best Interests In Mind

WASHINGTON DC:  Republicans leaders in the House and Senate spoke out today to affirm their commitment to women’s reproductive rights. 

John Boehner, the Republican Speaker of the House, spoke at length on the Capitol’s steps.  “Let no one doubt our party’s commitment to women.  They are our wives, our daughters, and the bearers of our children.  Regarding where and when they have children, that’s something we’ll address after the election.”

When asked whether or not a Republican majority would interfere with organizations like planned parenthood, he replied, “Ask me on November Seventh, the day after the election.”

In an effort to show how committed Republican men are to women’s rights,  all Senators and House members were issues a copy of The Vagina Monologues DVD.  This movie was produced in 2002 by HBO.

Republican men were seen reading the material inside the DVD package, appearing unfamiliar with the content.  “A monologue?  I’m not sure what this is all about, is it the female anatomy speaking as a third person?  Vagina’s not happy, give vagina some attention, that kind of thing?”

“Is it a conversation with the vagina?  Who’s talking to it, or her.  If there’s a dialogue going on, who’s on the other side communicating with it?” Asked Mitch McConnell, the Republican leader in the Senate.

Female voters who were on hand for the event voiced their perspective.  “Republican men trying to figure out the female anatomy.  There’s a first, if they could let us make our own decisions, that would be another.”

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