Romney Hopes ‘No Drama Obama’ Comes Off Stiff & Adrift

BOSTON:  Romney advisors are working furiously to prepare Mitt for his upcoming debate tomorrow night against President Obama.

“He’ll be ready, no doubt about it.  It’s Mitt’s time, and according to the polls, he has no time to waste,” said campaign advisor, Rush Limbaugh.

According to Romney officials, practice debates have taken place every night in campaign headquarters.  “We had a litany of experts come in, even George Bush got involved.  But when Dan Quayle came calling, we showed him the back door.  Everyone knows he’s no Jack Kennedy.”

Experts have been working diligently to prepare Mitt Romney for tough questions. However, the candidate seems better prepared than ever, according to Karl Rove.  “He’s ready to get in the ring and show the world he’s competent enough not to answer direct questions, or waste valuable preparation time on fact checking.  That I can assure you will be Obama’s downfall.”

Obama’s campaign team assured reporters that they expect the best and the worst to be revealed during the debates.  “Sure he’ll come across as Mr. Cool, but we don’t want to get in Mitt Romney’s way.  We believe the best defense against Mr. Romney is to let Mr. Romney appeal to his base, namely the top 1%.  I heard he’s trying to micro target enthusiast groups as well,” said campaign advisor James Carville.

Photo Courtesy:  The Atlantic, Sept. 2012 Issue.


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