Study Finds 90% of Wives Want Perfect House, 95% of Husbands Don’t Give a Sh—

RYE, NY:  The American Society of Sociologists published a groundbreaking study that identified the differences between men and women when it came to maintaining a home.

“We have made an interesting discovery.  Wives put a higher premium on maintaining the perfect house,” said Edmund Freud, the lead researcher.

Fred Cleaver of Rye New York, a local husband and father of two, shared his thoughts.  “They had to publish a paper to figure that out?  Seriously?  Walk into any home on my block and you’ll hear the echoes of wives nagging their husbands.”

Fred’s wife, June, provided a different perspective.  “Oh it’s just so nice to have clean drapes, fresh paint and, well let’s see… Oh yes!  It’s time to re-grout the bathroom.  I’ll add it to my hubby’s list, he won’t mind a bit.”

The study found that a high percentage of women want the perfect house.  A higher percentage of men really don’t give a shit.

“That’s how our male respondents filled out the survey, it took us by surprise,” Said Dr. Freud.  “I guess surveying them after a weekend of home chores wasn’t the best time to do it.”

The study recommends three different solutions to provide men with the relief they are looking for.  An inheritance to pay someone to do everything, season tickets to sporting events, or faking a back injury.

“We recommend the latter.  It costs nothing, your wife will be at your beckon call to help and you’ll be stuck on the couch watching TV and napping.  It’s the perfect solution.”

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