Film Tries To Espouse Empathy For Romney: The One-Percenter

HOLLYWOOD:  The Republican National Sub-Committee released a film today that shows the struggles Mitt Romney has gone through in life.  The One-Percenter, starring the candidate himself, aims to espouse empathy from the top-echelon of society.

The name of the film was chosen to appeal to elitists who support Obama.  Given how Republicans have taken positions that do not resonate with African Americans, Latinos, women, students and the elderly, advisors realized their options to find supporters were limited.

“We thought the Black-Swan like visual would resonate with elitist groups like Ballet enthusiast,” said Campaign Manager Carl Rove.  “We’re going after anyone who will listen at this point.”

The movie will cover Mitt’s younger years when he was raised by his Father, the Michigan Governor.  The years he spent studying at Ivy League schools.  It will also show the candidate’s perseverance when he struggled to raise funds to buy and sell companies at Bain Capital.

“This movie speaks to me, his struggles, his challenges,” said Joan Moneypenny of Greenwich, Connecticut.  “I know what its like going weeks without caviar, Mitt Romney has endured the same while campaigning.”

The film is being released in 500 theatres nationwide, and targeted to communities that cater to high-society hobbies.  Polo enthusiasts, yachters and epicureans will see promotional ads in local media.

Paul Ryan makes a cameo appearance as well, playing the role of an economist who recommends trickle-down theories.  Critics agree it’s a bad role for him.

“People want to know… what was it like when Mitt struggled at Harvard?  Was he getting enough Fillet Mignon?  What about his struggle to find the perfect show horse for his wife?  And when he had to share meals with voters at diners, my gosh. You can’t find decent Foie Gras at those establishments!”  Said John Elway.


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