Jerry Sandusky, the convicted pedophile, was welcomed today by convicts at Lewisburg Federal Prison. The ceremony included a round of applause and what be described as friendly, if not romantic, glares.
“We look forward to having him here. Having him in the shower, in the cells, and sharing frequent and spontaneous get togethers with Jerry,” said Hermoso Pene, a murder convict. “We always want pedophiles to feel right at home.”
The ten-by-ten cell will house Jerry Sandusky for the next 30 years at the minimum, according to recent conviction reports.
Reporters asked Mr. Sandusky how he felt about his new surroundings, and the fact he will never be able to leave. “I’m a little taken aback. I just found a container of Super Glide underneath my sheets, what’s that all about?”
He appeared even more confused when he noticed his cellmate grinning from ear to ear.
“We’re gonna have ourselves a little chit chat, me and Jerry,” Said Tyrone Jackson, the leader of the Reach & Round gang. “I’ll show him the place, be his new best friend. He’s gonna fit in well with my friends, and I’m sure my friends will fit well into him.”