BRONX, NY: The post-season collapse of the New York Yankees was addressed after yesterday’s loss to the Detroit Tigers. In what has been hailed as a wise decision, A-Rod’s role in the Yankees organization will permanently change.
Starting next season, A-Rod will be not be a third baseman, nor a designated hitter. “Alex Rodriguez will be the Designated Field Manager,” said Coach Joe Girardi, “In short, he will be working with the grounds crew, and we look forward to his contributions.”
After posting a .118 batting average in the post season, and a collective 72 for 324 in all playoff appearances, management felt the change was well overdue. “We know Alex can contribute on the field. In this role, it will be the physical field of play rather than playing on the field itself,” said Field Manager Bert Ilizer.
Starting next week, A-Rod will learn how to resuscitate the greens in the outfield and learn how to properly manage lawn care equipment. “It’s not as easy as it looks, this will take time but I won’t extend the same level of patience that Yankee fans have since 2004.”