“I am here to announce that I was wrong. I mean, really wrong. I must have based my position on Fox News fact checking, cause this shit just got real,” said the radio host, Rush Limbaugh.
Based on a hurricane that’s delivered unprecedented destruction, Midwest draughts and water shortages on the west coast, conservative pundits are changing their tune.
Al Gore weighed in on the news. “Hey! Welcome to the twenty-first fucking century assholes!”
“I thought I was right for so long,” said Glen Beck. “I’ve been wrong a few times. I told Fox News my shit didn’t stink, well… it did and they fired me. I told my listeners global warming was a liberal fantasy. Given the evidence, it’s real. Hey, at least a broken clock is right two times a day, kind of like my opinions.”
Both Rush Limbaugh and Mr. Beck are partaking in psychological counseling to address their self-loathing. “I was very worried about Rush,” Dr. Edmund Freud told reporters, “It must be so hard to have one’s ego collapse in on itself. It’s also hard for a patient to realize just how much of an asshole they have been for three or four decades.”