Moronic Hollywood Reporters Unsure How to Handle Jennifer Lawrence

HOLLYWOOD:  The Hollywood press has no idea how to handle Jennifer Lawrence’s jennifer-lawrence-oscars-2013-2-pearl-necklace-diamond-earringslevel-headed approach or intellect.  Experts believe this stems from their shortcomings in both of these characteristics.

Joan Rivers provided some perspective.  “They’ve been trained like monkeys to deal with reality stars who have… well, the intellectual capacity of monkeys.  So you can’t fault them.”

Media professionals thought the questions asked at Jennifer Lawrence’s press conference were asinine.  “The fall on the way to the stage… and asking what happened.  Seriously?  Why not ask her if her boobs felt comfortable in her dress, or if she felt encouraged to go topless during Seth MacFarlane’s boob song,” said Piers Morgan.

Many believe that Jennifer Lawrence will require skillful handling during interviews, and few are up to the task.  “We’re going to have to hire someone with a brain, that’s intimidating.  We usually just hire people who have nice abs, or a fantastic ass,” said Mario Lopez.

The Hollywood Reporter surveyed 100 beat reporters the day after the show.  When questioned if they thought Jennifer Lawrence’s intelligence would preclude them from a successful interview, 90% asked what the word preclude meant.


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