WASHINGTON DC: Secretary of State John Kerry ripped into Dennis Rodman today for his antics in North Korea. “What is your major malfunction, numb nut?” Mr. Kerry asked the cross-dressed celebrity.
The two met at the White House where Dennis Rodman did not hold up well after getting verbally berated by John Kerry. After being read the riot act, Mr. Rodman’s tears ruined his mascara, giving him the appearance of a distraught transvestite.
“For Dennis Rodman to represent the United States is like asking Rush Limbaugh to represent the National Organization For Women. What a complete shit show,” said Secretary Kerry.
Mr. Rodman’s publicist spoke on behalf of the celebrity. “Mr. Rodman’s unique form of diplomacy has not been given enough time to translate into success. We appeal to President Obama and John Kerry to give it more time.”
To further Mr. Rodman’s case, a photograph was shared with press officials to show the positive influence Dennis Rodman has had with the North Korean leader, Kim Jong Un.
“Let’s just say Kim Jong Un, well, he got ‘Kim Jong Down.’ The whole cross-dressing thing… The supreme leader admires Mr. Rodman’s taste in fashion, and after a few eight balls the two really turned it up a notch.”