Fraternity Men Distraught About HBO Girls Show: Blue Balls Abound

Screen shot 2013-03-18 at 11.54.20 PMCOLUMBUS, OHIO:  Surveys of college Fraternity men reveal a common truth about the HBO show, Girls:  Those who have gone 48 hours without sex find the show incredibly disturbing.

Sigma Nu brothers at Ohio State shared their thoughts after watching tonight’s episode.  “This is not what a guy needs to see after striking out all weekend.  Every guy on the show is getting laid twenty-four seven,” said the chapter’s president, Richard Tyler.

Many fraternity brothers, and sorority women, watch the show religiously on Sunday nights.  Men however do not respond the same way as their Greek sisters.

“I’m watching some guy going downtown on the hottest girl on the show, and she’s actually enjoying it.  Then another guy is pounding away like a jackhammer.  That’s more my style, I can relate to that, but then the girl who’s really uptight is getting it sideways and her boyfriend doesn’t even finish up.  That’s exactly how the show makes me feel, I’m a loaded gun ready to explode!”

College campuses across the country are offering group therapy to men who feel let down, deprived and lonely from watching Girls on HBO.

Sorority girls on the other hand feel more empowered watching the show, and have made a game out of it.

“When someone’s getting action, all the girls in our house take a drink.  When someone is getting it doggie style, we have to bark and drink simultaneously.  And when Lena Dunham is topless, we all drink tequila without chasers, because both experiences result in leaving a bad taste in our mouth.”

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