Royal Baby Arrives: Kate Middleton Delivers Male Heir To British Throne

Baby is named Kendall Charles Cambridge, delivered healthy and late.

LONDON:  Kate Middleton delivered at 12:05 PM London time, giving birth to a baby boy.Kate Middleton Delivers

According to medical officials, the baby, named Kendall Charles Cambridge, weight 8.0 pounds, 3 ounces and is 22 inches in length.

Both mother and child are doing well and recovering.  Members of the royal family are at the hospital including Queen Elizabeth herself.

“We are pleased to announce that, at present, the baby and mother could not be doing better.  The delivery went smoothly, and it was a splendid occasion for both mother and father,” said the leading Obstetrician, Dr. Strangesloove.

Prince William was reported by hospital officials to be extremely emotional.  Medical professionals believe this stems the medical condition called, ‘Labor Delivery Pains.’  This occurs when Fathers are within arm’s reach of a Mother when she is giving birth.

“He did not expect that kind of reaction.  Kate really gave him a good smacking.  Two bitch-slaps and an imbedded fingernail would bring any man to tears.  He’s recovering well, despite Prince Harry egging him on to man up.”

Queen Elizabeth was overjoyed at the sight of her great-grandson, Kendall Charles Cambridge.  “She could not have been more pleased holding the beautiful child.   She was however a bit overwhelmed at the enormity of her great grandson’s family jewels.  She mentioned afterwards that it comforted her to know the crown’s royal jewels themselves will be passed down by a male heir,” said Dr. Stangesloove.

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17 thoughts on “Royal Baby Arrives: Kate Middleton Delivers Male Heir To British Throne

  1. To the lovely father and mother congratulation with your baby boy enjoy him its a gift from above . From south-africa lots and lots of love

  2. rubbish the whole of uk are watching the live reports of kate in labour at this very moment and William was playing polo on Saturday and sunday so he wasn’t at her bedside

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