WASHINGTON DC: Federal officials are investigating how Florida can be physically removed from the rest of the nation.
“The state can take that Zimmerman verdict, and those dangling chads from the 2000 presidential election, and shove it straight up it’s keister.” Said Nancy Pelosi, the former Speaker of the House. “Getting rid of Florida… This is the enema the country has been waiting for. Let em’ rot off the coast off of Suriname.”
96% of Americans, polled outside the state of Florida, agreed with this conclusion.