** Breaking News ** DNA Sought For Answers, Paternity Tests Scheduled
LONDON, ENGLAND: The child of Kate Middleton and Prince William has been officially rumored to be the birth child of Prince Henry.
Doctors and medical professionals cited the incredible similarity in appearance between the newborn and Prince William’s Brother. “When we saw his mop of red hair, complete with curls, we were concerned. Amused, but concerned.” Said the Obstetrician, Dr. Strangloove.
News officials were reportedly storming the gates of Buckingham Palace in order to interview housemaids and butlers. Beat reporters hope to break stories relating to scandalous late-night sex romps among royal family members. Rupert Murdoch’s employees are working overtime to hack cellular phone communication taking place on the palace grounds.
“We’ll get to the bottom of this. Stay tuned for scandal!” Said Rupert.