Royal Baby Wants Nanny Beheaded For Pilfering Jeweled Diaper

The Return of the Modern Philosopher

guillotineHis Royal Highness Prince George of Cambridge is at it again, Modern Philosophers.  Not even a week old, The Royal Baby has ordered the beheading of one of his nannies.

Luckily, there were no guillotines available on the private island to which his Royal Crankiness has fled in order to avoid the constant media onslaught, and cooler heads soon prevailed.

“Nanny Bridget has committed crimes against me, The Royal Family, The British Empire, my Great Grand Mum The Queen, and all the commoners out there,” The Royal Baby declared in a statement read aloud by Lord Richard Stork, his Spokeslord.  “By attempting to steal from me, she has for all intents and purposes, tried to steal from all Britons.”

NannyThe Nanny in question, Bridget Hoskins of Greater Glastonbury on the Dale, told this Modern Philosopher that she is innocent.  “The diaper was soiled, sir,” she told me in the most…

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