Yankee Management Plans A-Rod Send Off: Steroid Roast At The Stake

Screen shot 2013-07-30 at 9.36.26 PMBRONX, NY:  Yankee management has made final arrangements for A-Rod’s send off, which will include a game ending roast of the steroid-tainted professional.

They clarified that it would not be a comedic roast.  They plan to literally roast him at the stake.  Following the MLB banning A-Rod from baseball tomorrow, A-Rod will be burnt alive On Friday, August 2nd.  Brian Cashman has ordered the stake be placed on the pitcher’s mound in Yankees Stadium.

“That son of a bitch tarnished the pride of our team’s history.  When he juiced, we felt goosed.  Payback’s gonna be a bitch,” said Mr. Cashman, the General Manager of the Yankees.

Tickets to the event will go on sale tomorrow for $5.00.  In honor of the affair, smores will be made available for sale.

Fans are looking forward to A-Rod’s departure from the team.  “Now’s we can afford to buy some new winnahs.  We’s don’t have to pay that A-Rod anotha dime.  See ya!”  Said an incredibly hairy Italian man from his stoop in Bronxville.

A-Rod’s ashes will be scattered in urinals and in toilets at the stadium.  All proceeding flushes will eventually remove A-Rod’s presence from Yankee history.

“I hope I can get to the stadium to give A-Rod a final farewell,” said Juan Valdiaz, a lifelong Yankee fan.  “I plan on hitting Taco Bell a few hours before the game so I can drop a spiced-up deuce on his ashes before I flush.”

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One thought on “Yankee Management Plans A-Rod Send Off: Steroid Roast At The Stake

  1. My Witch friends might be uncomfortable with the whole burning at the stake thing, but other than that, very funny. Now you have to go over to my blog and read last night’s A-Rod and Royal Baby post…

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