NEW JERSEY: Ambien for Children launched today at drugstores nationwide. The product reportedly sold out ten minutes after it went on sale.
Thousands of sleep-deprived parents lined outside of drug stores in a zombie-like state of fatigue. “The line started forming at 3:15 AM. It was like a weird blend of the Walking Dead and the launch of a new iPhone.” said CVS Store Manager, Michael Hunt.
The product was announced in major newspapers last week and the product guarantees eight hours of continuous sleep for both parents and children.
“I have not slept since July 4th weekend. The side effect of that experience resulted in a dead husband,” said a relieved mother on her way out of the CVS pharmacy. “If only Ambien were available in August, he would have lived. Lesson to the living – either buy Ambien for Children or give your wife a f*cking night off for once.”