With Image Tarnished, Amish Demand Red Sox Shave

Style-conscious farmers do not want to be associated with, “overpaid douche bags.”

Red Sox beardsBLUE BALL, PA:   Amish communities across Pennsylvania are demanding Red Sox players shave their beards, given how they now resemble 19th century farmers.

“That’s our look, it’s our style, and the Red Sox aren’t worthy of Amish beards,” said Erick Van Jorgenson, a local Blue Ball community leader.  “And frankly, they are bunch of pussy’s who couldn’t handle two hours of hard labor.”

Red Sox players have gone so far as to nickname their beards.  Mike Napoli refers to his beard as the, “Siesta.”

Mr. Van Jorgenson finds the nicknames rather odd.  “Siesta?  Ironsides?  Whatever.  What’s next, are they going to start nicknaming their pubes?”


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s