Weather Channel Ratings Tank: Lack of Hurricanes / Disasters Irk Producers

Weather Channel2NEW YORK:   Nielsen Ratings Services reported the Weather Channel’s ratings have plummeted of late, due to the lack of weather drama that often takes place during Hurricane season.

“We’re in deep sh*t, we need a full blown category 5 hurricane to bolster ratings.  I’ve instructed my staff to spray aerosol cans into the air and burn autumn leaves.” Said Al Raker, Senior Producer of the Weather Channel.

Advertising revenue doubled during Q4 of last year, due in part to Hurricane Sandy.  Without a looming disaster on the horizon, many have not tuned into the channel.

“Sandy may have been a bitch, but damn she made us a ton of money.  We amped it up too and had a field day with the weather last year.”

Weather Channel programming often includes dramatic visuals, threatening audio and features under-qualified actors who play the role of weather anchors.  Without a major story, advertising revenue is expected to plummet.

We’ll find some way to make viewers tune in,” said the respected Meteorologist, Jim Cantore.  “Women love me.  Maybe I have to go shirtless to get them to watch.  I’m ripped, so I don’t mind.”

Later this month, The Weather Channel will air a show titled, Greatest Weather Disasters Ever, unless Producers are fortunate enough to have a Hurricane show up unexpected.

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