Three Amigos of the Apocalypse Plan 2nd Government Shutdown

three amigosWASHINGTON DC:  The biblical tale of the four horsemen of the apocalypse has been turned upside down to parody three political players:  Ted Cruz, John Boehner and Mitch McConnell.   The three are now being called, the Three Amigos of the Apocalypse, given their ability to cause the United States to default.

“Without a government break from gridlock, 2014 could be a disaster for the country,” said the Treasury Secretary, Jack Lew.  “And these three clowns in power that can drive us over the cliff – Cruz, Bonehead and McFumble.  These guys are assholes to the 3rd power.”

Republican party elders are not amused with the association made with the Three Amigos.  “I’m disturbed by this analogy,” said Senator John McCain.  “That is one of my favorites movies.  Why would anyone want to tarnish that film with these three douche bags?”

“I hope they turn south, cross the Mexican border and pick up a nasty venereal disease.”  Said Minority Congressional Leader, Nancy Pelosi.  “Nothing would bring me greater joy than to hear Ted Cruz contracted crabs in Tijuana.”

The actors who portrayed the Three Amigos have asked for any association made with the Republican Party to be neglected.  “They are a bunch of tea baggers.  I mean that literarily, in the urban dictionary sense,” said Chevy Chase.

Steve Martin agreed with Mr. Chase’s comments.  “Rather than choke the country with shutdowns, America would be better served if Republicans tea bagged one another and choked themselves.”


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