Plans to give her Oversized Sweater, Book of Etiquette and Coal
NORTH POLE: Santa Claus responded to the wish list he received from Miley Cyrus today and referred to her as the, “Whore who’s trying to score. Ho, Ho… No!” He said.
The list he received from the singer included multiple items from the Victoria’s Secret holiday catalog. Based on a recent twerking incident, where a drunken stagehand impersonating Santa was twerked, Santa is giving her a different set of gifts.
“She’s out of line, and what’s up with the buffoon impersonating me? That bitch will get nothing from her wish list and like it,” said the irate holiday icon.
Elves received the letter from Miley Cyrus on Friday. According to unnamed sources, they were found passing the letter back and forth to one another while watching what looked liked porno clips on their iPhones. It turned out they were watching Miley Cyrus music videos.
“You can’t blame the elves. They are a bunch of horny munchkins stuck in the Arctic,” said Mrs. Claus.
Several items were on display for press officials to photograph, which include an ugly oversized sweater, Emily Post’s Book of Etiquette and a small bag of coal.
Santa was disturbed during the press conference. “Victoria’s secret? Seriously? What’s next, is she going to ask for breast implants? The world has seen enough of that slut bag.”